Small-Batch Metro Packs More Punch Than any Kentucky Bourbon
Columbus, OH - It was a typical summer day in Columbus, Ohio: 90°F with 90% humidity, the kind of day where each breath feels as though it is made through a wet sock. Twenty of Columbus’ best warriors suited up for a test of endurance and shear willpower in the pilot run of a fast-paced format of Aussie-rules Football. The Jackaroos ran 9-on-9 on a 120 meter field for 4 grueling quarters of action. Columbus Jackaroos VP Derek “Nintendo” Shannon headed the red-clad D’s Demons, a talented bunch of never-say-die veterans, against Jacks’ captain John Fisher and his superiorly-winded, hard-hitting Fishers’ Phenoms in white.
Wes “Wezbo” McCorkle and Eric “Polly” Politz received the onslaught for the Demons at halfback, while Alan Gardner came off the IR list to join Anish “Mr. Big” Minstry in back for the Phenoms. Brandon “Crow-ball” Crowe would face the feisty Andrew “Boner” Jordan in the midfield as Bernie Frankle (red) and Adam Peterson squared off in the ruck. The Demons jumped out to an early lead in the first quarter, spearheaded with 3 goals by all-star Rob Ward, assisted by Shannon and Patrick Hickey in the forward line. Not to be outdone, Fisher added a hand-full of goals himself, keeping the lead to a meager 6 at quarter time.
Second quarter action proved that the victor would be the team with the most accuracy and stamina. Six of the red team’s kicks sailed wide for behinds in the first half, while rookie midfielder Mike Krause (4 total goals) and Fisher’s entourage exploited a gassed defense and went 6-goals-2, putting the Phenoms up by a couple at the half.
The Demons made some adjustments to their line up at half time, but the Phenoms would not relent. Fearsome hitter Clyde Simpson made his presence felt in the midfield, while Fisher continued to be in right place at the right time. Fish kicked 2 more goals in the second half and would end his day with five. Long absent from the Columbus sideline, Joel Muller laced up the cleats to work as a double-agent, aiding both sides with a valiant relief effort. Despite Phil Sisia’s midfield bomb for 6 and the noble efforts of Matt “Water” Reiss at fullback for the red team, Krause, Simpson, and newcomer Dan Hwang all blasted goals to give the Phenoms a commanding 59-to-34 lead at three- quarter time.
A seemingly fortuitous fourth quarter was quickly interrupted by a determined effort from D’s Demons. Sisia moved down forward for a run against the formidable Ryan Gross, adding another goal to make it a pair on the day. After a long range goal from Rob Ward, Derek Shannon emerged as a force to be reckoned with on the front line. He put two goals on the board to bring his team to within nine. It was not meant to be, alas, as the midfielders from Fishers’ Phenoms played keep-away for the last few minutes to foil the would be comeback and secure the win.
In the end, Fishers’ Phenoms put the ball through the goal more often, going 11.6 (72) to the Demons’ 9.9 (63). Top players for the Demons were voted as Ward, Shannon, and Reiss; Krause, Simpson, and Gross took honors for the Phenoms, with Fisher nabbing the much-deserved Best on Ground award. The new fast-paced style game proved to be a valuable resource, giving both veterans and rookies ample chances to hone their skills and learn valuable lessons. Perhaps the most important lesson: always know where Clyde is.
